Academic or Otherwise: Return to Me
by mrhutchersonmellark
Summary: Three months after moving to South Carolina, NYU student Charlotte Matthews is ready to return to New York for her graduation. Graduation will be easy; but will it be just as easy to see her ex-lover and professor, Josh, again? Now that she is no longer his student, their relationship can continue. But will he take her back? Part II of Academic or Otherwise.
1. Chapter 1

_**Prologue**_

When he finally found her, it was too late.

Charlotte was crossing the street, a shy smile playing across her lips, her small arm laced through the arm of another man. Josh's breath hitched; she was beautiful as ever. The southern sun had bronzed her skin golden, giving her a healthy glow, but even though she looked happy, he felt like her hand was strangling his heart.

He watched them for a few minutes. Charlotte was wearing a flowing, pale blue summer dress. Her hair had grown longer and was laying loose around her shoulders, curling slightly at the ends from the humidity. She appeared to have lost a lot of weight since he saw her last. He wondered if she were being taken care of properly, he knew very little about this aunt that she was living with.

The South Carolinian heat pressed in on him where he stood under a massive palm tree, watching Charlotte walk away from him again, on the arm of some other guy. He couldn't help the jealousy uncurling in his gut, but he stopped himself from revealing himself to her. She couldn't know that he was here. He only came down to Charleston to see her, to make sure she was doing alright. But he didn't expect to find that she had moved on so quickly.

Sighing, he placed his hand in the pocket of his slacks and pulled out the wrinkled letter that he kept there, his fingers unfolding the worn paper. _Dearest Josh..._ he had read it a hundred times, each time hurting more than the last. It wasn't right. She admitted to loving him in this, she confessed that leaving him was killing her. He thought that there was a chance, but now...

He clenched his jaw and put the letter back in his pocket, then pulled out his phone, calling his driver back around. Maybe coming here was a mistake. He saw that she was happy and obviously over him, but it only made it harder for him not to go to her. Going to her would only upset her. No, it was time for him to go home, back to New York. Graduation was only a few weeks away, and Charlotte would be back for commencement. He had a lot work to do if he was going to win her back.

 **Chapter 1: Reverie**

Charlotte thought she was prepared for the climate of Charleston, but she had never been more wrong. From the moment she had stepped off the plane, she felt the humidity threatening to strangle her. Thankfully, her aunt's massive plantation mansion had been fixed with air conditioning eons ago, and it was constantly running, even this late in May.

But the air conditioning at her aunt's wouldn't help her now. Today, she was in downtown Charleston with James, touring the historical downtown. It was the closest she had been to the ocean in years, and she could taste the salt in the air. Oliver had been kind enough to show her around the area, which he knew well since he had grown up there. The last time Charlotte had seen him was when she was visiting her aunt last. She had to have been ten, and Oliver had only been a year older than her. Being the only cousin she had on her mother's side, they had been close, and whenever her family would visit, they would immediately disappear together, playing underneath the giant willow tree that grew in her aunt's yard. That was the last time her family had visited in a long while. When Charlotte saw Oliver after arriving at her aunt's, it took her a while to recognize him. He had grown-up quite a bit, and had turned into quite a handsome guy. He had his dad's ginger hair and blue eyes which contrasted with Charlotte's brown ones.

It took quite a bit of catching up, but eventually they were back to how they used to be: teasing each other and sharing jokes. Charlotte was glad he was there, it kept her mind from drifting back to New York and Josh. She had kept Josh from her aunt and cousin, and she planned to keep it that way. Oliver was able to distract her during the day and keep her busy, but Josh had her mind at night. He drifted in and out of her dreams in various ways, usually resulting in Charlotte waking up, drenched in cold sweat. She wanted nothing more than to pick up her phone and call him after those dreams. When that happened, though, she was thankful that she no longer had his number stored in her phone. She made herself delete it before she even left New York. It would have been far to easy for her to cave if she had his number available to her all the time.

A light breeze blew in from off the water, cooling Charlotte's skin and ruffling her dress. She took in a deep breath, breathing in the sea air, then froze. The air was laced with salt and sea, but also...it couldn't be. She stopped and turned around, scanning the street behind her and the few people that lingered by the beach's edge. Her mind must be playing tricks on her, because surely she didn't just smell Josh's cologne on the air, it was impossible.

"Charlie?"

Taking one last look, Charlotte turned back to her cousin, who had a slight look of confusion and amusement on his face.

"You ok there, Charlie? You look like you've seen a ghost."

She smiled softly, taking his arm again. She reminded herself that Josh wasn't the only person in the world to own that cologne, and that it must've been a coincidence, nothing more.

"Yes, I'm alright. I just thought I saw someone I knew."

"Someone you knew? Let me assure you, Charlie. Everyone that you knew in Charleston is either with you now, or dead. So unless you _were_ seeing a ghost, in which case I highly suggest we get you to a doctor-"

Charlotte punched him in the arm, giggling at him.

"Oh shut up, Olly. It was nothing. And everyone I know isn't dead. I know your mother, and Mr. Marsh, and-"

"I know, I know, calm down. I was only teasing you. Although, I'm not sure Mr. Marsh counts as alive, exactly. That poor man has been working for our family since mom was born. He's at least a hundred."

Charlotte snorted.

"I think that's a bit of an exaggeration."

"You're right, a hundred is too generous. I think a hundred and fifty is more accurate."

Charlotte laughed as Oliver steered her down the street toward his car, and for a moment, Charlotte had actually forgotten about Josh. But only for a moment. By the time she was sliding into her cousin's Lexus, her mind was back on the smell of his cologne. She let her thoughts dwell on the last time that she saw him, angry and flustered in his office as she told him that she was leaving him. She didn't think it was possible, but her heart broke a little more. Then Oliver's voice brought her back to reality once more.

"You still with me Charlie? What do you want for dinner?"

Charlotte decided to keep Josh out of her thoughts from now on; he was just too distracting.

"Hmm...you know? I could really go for some of Ellie's gumbo tonight."

Ellie was her aunt's cook, who cooked well enough to pull anyone out of the strictest diets, and she made the best gumbo that Charlotte had ever had. With all this thinking about Josh, Charlotte had worked up quite the appetite for southern comfort food.

"That sounds good. I'll call and give her the heads up."

Oliver smiled at her as he set the phone to call on Bluetooth and pulled out onto the street, heading back to their house. Aunt Lottie lived just outside of Charleston, on an old plantation. Her house was huge compared to anything Charlotte was used to. She was rich beyond belief; half of her fortune was old family money, and the other half was inherited when her husband, Henry, passed away when Charlotte was nine. Uncle Henry had amassed a small fortune from his family's business that he had run, but when he died, the company went to his younger brother. Now, Aunt Lottie was living solely off the contents of her bank account. She had no income, but that didn't matter since her account had enough money to support her for three lifetimes.

Other than Oliver, Aunt Lottie lived with the small company of hired help that also lived on the grounds. When her Uncle was alive, he added quarters for live-in help above their large garage. There were four apartments up there, just enough for the four assistants that worked for the Berkley's. There was Mr. Marsh, the groundskeeper, who was hired on by Lottie's parents just before she was born. He was quiet and kept to himself. Then Ellie, who worked in the kitchen and insisted that everyone called her by her first name only. Ellie was a little older than Charlotte, and she was cheery and friendly. She honestly could have worked anywhere, or gone to school to be a culinary master, but instead she chose to work for the Berkley's. Finally, there were the two housekeepers, a set of twins named Mabel and Mara. Both were young and spoke little to anyone but each other, and they honestly gave Charlotte the creeps. She would sometimes catch them staring at her from the opposite side of the room, whispering to each other.

Charlotte shivered. Thankfully, it was Saturday, and everyone was off for the weekend. Everyone except Ellie, who insisted on cooking their meals even if she didn't have to. As soon as the car drifted out of the city, it was a short drive to the house, if you could even call it that. It only took a few drives after arriving in South Carolina before Charlotte learned the way to and from her aunt's. A left off the main road, followed by another left onto a narrow dirt road, then a right into the driveway. The driveway was long, lined with large, flowing willows and magnolia trees, and led right up to a circle drive in front of the large, old plantation.

The first time Charlotte saw it, she fell in love with it. It was where her mother and aunt had grown up, and it immediately had made her feel like she was at home. It was a two story, white mansion with large french doors, a porch and a balcony. The interior of the house sported four large bedrooms, each with an en-suite bathroom, a sitting room, music room, dining room, and huge kitchen. But Charlotte's favorite part of the house was the foyer.

Even now as she walked into it, she got chills across her shoulders and immediately felt like royalty. The black french doors opened up to wide open ceilings and a sweeping staircase that led to the second floor. The banister was polished black and the stairs were a bright white. Her mind always imagined herself floating down those stairs, dressed in a large southern-bell gown, her hand sliding along the banister as she stepped lightly down the steps to an awaiting faceless suitor. Except this time, her suitor actually had a face, and it was Josh's.

But then her daydream was shattered by the arrival of Ellie, who stepped into the foyer from the sitting room on the right.

"Mr. Berkley," she greeted. "Miss Matthews. Welcome 'ome. I've already started dinner and it should be ready in about an hour. Can I get you a drink while we wait?"

"Ellie, I've told you a hundred times; you don't have to stand on ceremony with me. You can call me Charlotte."

Ellie gave her a smile and replied in her thick, french accent. "Of course, Miss. 'ow about those drinks? I just fixed up some iced tea."

That was Ellie, always professional. She never addressed anyone by their first names. Oliver and her aunt eventually stopped insisting that she do otherwise, and they even told Charlotte it was pointless to ask to be addressed by her first name. But Charlotte asked anyway, even though there was never a change. She suspected it was because Ellie grew up and was trained in France. She worked for a rich old couple who passed away several years ago and they had encouraged her to come to America before they died, which was always a dream for Ellie. When they passed away, they had generously left her enough money to travel, so Ellie had taken the leap and crossed over, finding employment with Charlotte's aunt.

"Sure, Ellie," James said. "Tea sounds great."

She smiled at him, blushing slightly, then disappeared back into the kitchen. She wasn't gone long before returning with a tray that carried a pitcher of iced tea and three tall glasses, followed by Aunt Lottie. Charlotte's aunt looked nothing like her mother. While her mother was tall, willowy and brunette, her aunt was petite, blonde and curvy. She also had a bubbly personality, opposite of her mother's quiet demeanor. She always found it difficult to believe that they were actually sisters. In fact, she once had them produce birth certificates to prove it.

"Charlotte!" Her aunt exclaimed, flinging herself at Charlotte and pulling her down onto the love seat. "How was Charleston? Did Olly take you shopping?"

Charlotte wriggled from underneath her aunt's arm, her lips twitching. After being under her aunt's hospitality for nearly three months, she had given up on trying to become accustomed to her aunt's vitality and enthusiasm. She was always excited to see Charlotte, no matter what the occasion. Even now, it had only been five hours since she saw her last, but she was attached to Charlotte as if it had been years.

"Mom," Oliver said, as he poured himself a glass of tea and sat in the chair across from them. "Calm down. Charlotte isn't here for you to hang off of. She's been out all day in this heat, give her some air."

"Oh Oliver, calm down." But she moved away slightly, giving Charlotte some much needed space. After pouring a glass for her and Charlotte, she looked at her niece expectantly, waiting on her to elaborate.

"We actually didn't go shopping, Aunt Lottie. Olly took me around to the art museum and the library, then we went to The Battery and walked for a while."

Her aunt scowled and sipped her tea.

"No shopping? Hog wash. Well, before you go home, I need to take you on a proper shopping trip. When you arrived, you basically had nothing! I can't allow you to go back to New York without a full wardrobe."

Charlotte rolled her eyes. Her aunt was busy adding more tea to her glass and didn't see, but Oliver did and he snickered. Charlotte had learned by now that it was best to just let her aunt do what she wanted. Besides, she did need a dress for graduation, and she wasn't going to go against her aunt's southern hospitality.

"Sure, Aunt Lottie. I would be very grateful."

"Don't mention it, sugar. I need to make up for all those years I missed out on spoiling my only niece."

Oliver sat back in his chair, finishing off his tea.

"When does your flight leave again, Charlotte?"

She sucked down her tea, silently wishing that there was some vodka in it. She hated talking about going home. For one, it meant leaving the hot weather, which she had become accustomed to and learned to love. Even though summer was right around the corner for New York, the weather was nothing compared to South Carolina. Then there was graduation. She was excited to finally earn her bachelor's, but graduation meant she would have to see Josh. She constantly imagined what she would do when she saw him again. Her feelings for him hadn't changed, which would make it all the more difficult to not launch herself at him.

"Charlotte?"

Oliver was looking at her expectantly, and she remembered that he had asked her a question.

"Oh, right. Sorry. It leaves Monday morning. We should probably leave immediately after breakfast so we can make it to the airport on time. My flight leaves at ten."

Her aunt squeaked.

"Monday?! Good gracious, that only leaves tomorrow for shopping! We'll leave at nine and get breakfast while we're out."

Charlotte cringed inwardly at waking up for a full day of shopping, but nodded and agreed. They spent the next hour discussing their travel plans for the next week, Charlotte's much-anticipated graduation, and the glorious hotel they would be staying at in Manhattan. Aunt Lottie was about to venture into the topic of boyfriends for Charlotte, which was not an uncommon occurrence, but Ellie thankfully announced dinner and they retired into the dining room with their tea, future boyfriends forgotten.

Later that evening, Charlotte was sitting in her bed after a refreshing shower, and was browsing her social media accounts when she decided to check up on her school's page for the graduation schedule. The moment the page loaded, she froze. Dominating the event's page was a large picture of Josh, his arm wrapped around a petite blonde who was all smiles. Josh looked tolerant of her presence, but he was smiling, too, albeit a bit stiffly. Her eyes quickly dropped to the caption, which was dated last week. _Professor Joshua Hutcherson and student at NYU's senior brunch._ She scowled as she read the article attached to the picture. Of course she knew about the brunch, which the school held every spring for the graduating class, and she knew she was going to miss it. But the site of Josh with his arm around another girl really got her gut churning.

Before she did something rash, she slammed her laptop shut and climbed into bed, fuming in the dark. Whoever that girl was, she was just a student, so it wasn't like he was dating her or anything. _You were only a student, too,_ a snide voice chimed in the back of her mind. She pushed the thought aside before it made her sick. Yes, she was only a student when her and Josh started their relationship. But that had been different. He loved her, he wouldn't move on from her that quickly. Would he?

She mulled things over as she tossed and turned in bed, the picture of Josh with the blonde burned into her mind's eye. Eventually, she fell into an uneasy sleep, but woke often from dreams of Josh waiting for her, and nightmares of him hating her forever. She debated getting up and making herself a cup of hot tea, but thought better of it. She didn't want to leave the comfort of her bed. Instead, she pulled out her phone. Her fingers hovered over Conner's name in her contacts. She wanted nothing more than to tap his name and have him connect her with Josh. It had been months since she last heard from Conner, surely he wouldn't mind an update from her...

The creak of the stairs followed by the slamming of a bedroom door broke her trance. She quickly locked her phone, placing it back onto her nightstand. Contacting him now would be a horrible decision. Graduation was in a week; at the very least, she had to wait until after commencement before contacting Josh again. Sighing, she closed her eyes and rolled over. It was nearly two in the morning, and she needed to sleep if she were to survive tomorrow's shopping trip.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Distance**

"Call me as soon as you land!"

Charlotte struggled not to roll her eyes as her aunt bombarded her with anxious, last minute questions.

"Yes, Aunt Lottie."

"You have enough cash for a cab?"

She sighed heavily.

"Aunt Charlotte," she started. Her aunt did not like being addressed this way, but it usually got the point across. "I'm fine. I have more than enough money for a cab and anything else I might need. Besides, you and Olly will be there in less than a week, and Casey is coming in tomorrow."

Her aunt smiled at her sadly and pulled her into a tight hug, practically squeezing the life out of her.

"Oh, sugar. I know you'll be just fine; you always have been. Although, I wish you would just move down here-"

"I'm not moving down here, Aunt Lottie. My life is in New York! But I appreciate the offer, and I promise I will visit more often, but my answer is no."

Charlotte turned towards her cousin, who was next to his mother. They were standing in the terminal, saying their goodbyes to Charlotte before she went through security. Impatient travelers bustled around the airport, pushing their way across the terminal to their various gates or out onto the road where they waited for cabs. Charlotte's aunt and cousin flew often enough, but flying down here had been the first time Charlotte had flown since she was 10, which resulted in her being a little nervous. Oliver must have picked up on her nerves, because he pulled her into a hug.

"You'll be alright, Charlie. Make sure you take care of yourself until I get there. Then we can get back to relaxing."

"Thanks Olly," she said, and smiled at him affectionately.

He smiled back and pecked her cheek, which took some of the stress of flying and going back home off her shoulders for a little while. Olly always had the ability to calm her down, ever since they were little. They just knew each other that well. Charlotte sighed and turned away, walking towards security. Just before she went through, she turned around and saw them watching her, Aunt Lottie sniffling miserably. Charlotte gave them a little wave, which only Olly returned, then she turned away and fell into the security line. The quicker she got this flight over with the better.

Josh was staring blankly across the restaurant while Conner babbled on about some new technology that was being released next month. But even a voice as loud as Conner's was lost in the soft babble of conversation that drifted through the restaurant. He had dragged Conner out on a double date to try and distract him from the proximity of graduation, but so far, it wasn't working. There was a girl on his right who was exactly Charlotte's opposite: blonde, wavy hair falling softly around her shoulders, which were tanned an exotic caramel color. She had striking gray eyes that were honestly breathtaking, and she was rail thin.

Immediately after returning from North Carolina two days ago, Josh had met Verona at a local Starbucks. She had approached him and boldly struck up a conversation, surprising him. In a poor attempt to get his mind off of Charlotte wrapped in the arms of the mystery man, he quickly invited her to dinner. But now, looking at her only made him long for Charlotte's chocolate colored eyes, long brown hair, and soft curves. Verona was friendly enough, and she held enough intelligence that they never had a boring conversation, but it all boiled down to Charlotte, and Verona wasn't her.

Josh had made the quick decision to invite Conner along to try and dull the awkwardness, and Conner jumped at the opportunity for a double date. He had brought along a gorgeous redhead with close cropped hair and pale blue eyes, and they seemed to really be hitting it off. But instead of dulling the awkwardness, Conner was exacerbating it.

"Aren't you going to eat, Josh?"

Verona's grip on his arm was light enough to show affection, but strong enough to bring him back down to earth. He looked at her, then down at his steak and green beans, which he had hardly touched. His appetite had been waning since Charlotte left, and tonight was no exception.

"I'm not really hungry."

She leaned into him, whispering into his ear softly.

"Well, I am, and I need you too eat so you can feed me later."

Josh stilled as the words passed from her lips to his ear. If Verona wasn't coming onto him, then he really was going crazy. As if to confirm his suspicions, her other hand planted itself onto his knee, slowly drifting up towards his hip. He suddenly jerked away from her, standing up from the table and flushing. Conner and his date stopped giggling and looked at him, while Verona stared at him in surprise.

"I-please excuse me. I need to use the men's room."

He disappeared across the restaurant and into the bathroom, where he quickly turned on the cold water to wet his face with. He ran his hands through his hair and took deep breaths, leaning against the counter. He caught his reflection: his face was flushed and his hazel eyes were wild. What was he thinking, inviting another girl to dinner with him? Verona obviously wanted to jump him, and while she was undoubtedly attractive, he still felt committed to Charlotte, even though they were no longer together. _What is wrong with me?_ he thought. Old Josh would have slept with several women by now to move on, but New Josh was still hung up on her, unwilling to give up so easily.

"What's going on, Josh?"

Josh turned to see Conner closing and locking the bathroom door behind him. His brother's usual joking demeanor was gone. For once, he only looked concerned.

"It's...it's nothing, Conner. Just something I ate upset my stomach."

The look on Conner's face reeked of disbelief.

"Josh, you didn't eat anything. Besides, I know you better than that. What's wrong? Is it Verona?"

Josh scrubbed his hands over his face.

"No, it's not Verona. She's...she's great and all, but she's just-"

"She's not Charlotte."

Josh looked up at his brother who was wearing a look of sympathy. He was immediately angry; he didn't want his little brother's sympathy. _He's only trying to help,_ a voice said. That's what she would say, if she were here. _I must really be going crazy if I'm hearing voices,_ Josh thought. But he calmed down anyway, taking a deep breath.

"No, she's not Charlotte. Look, Conner. I know you're trying to make me feel better. But I'll be fine. Verona just shocked me, is all. I wasn't expecting her to come onto me so suddenly."

Conner leaned against the door, shaking his head.

"This wasn't a good idea, Josh. You're killing yourself, I can see it. You hardly eat, you barely sleep. You've lost like ten pounds since she left, but you don't do anything. I can't remember the last time you went for a run. And then when I _do_ get you to go out, you aren't with me. Not really. You adopt a blank stare that says you're somewhere else. You need to get her back. She's the only person in the world that can fix you. I know she loves you, Josh. I've never seen anyone look at you the way she did."

Josh's jaw clenched and unclenched as wild thoughts ran through his head. He knew his brother was right, but he didn't know what to do. He had never in his life had to get a girl back. They came to him, and then he left when he was done. He had never _wanted_ any of them back, and even if he had, they would usually come crawling back the moment he beckoned them. This was different. Way different.

"I don't know what to do."

Conner straightened up from the door, unlocking it.

"Yes, you do. But first, you need to get yourself better. Graduation is in a week, Josh, and you know she'll be here. Let's get through tonight, and then we'll start tomorrow."

Nodding, Josh followed his brother out of the bathroom. Now that he had the semblance of a plan, he felt slightly more balanced. There was still hope.

At first, she was lost.

Charlotte had landed in New York exactly on time. But now that she was in the cab, she didn't know where to tell the driver to take her. Her old apartment was rented out already, and she wasn't ready for the condo. She had no idea if Josh was there, and she didn't want to go alone if he was.

"Miss?"

The driver of the cab saved her from drowning in her own memories, and she spoke the first address that came to her mind without thinking: the address of Josh's city apartment. She quickly tried to take it back, but the driver had already pulled into traffic and turned up the radio. Her heart thudded nervously, but then she just as quickly calmed down. It would be fine. Just because the driver was taking her to the building didn't mean that she would be at his apartment. That was on the 23rd floor, no where near the lobby. Besides, she knew her way around that area, and she could easily find a nearby hotel or something to stay in until Casey arrived the following day.

But the closer she got to the downtown area, the closer she got to an anxiety attack. She debated telling the cab driver to just pull over at the next curb, but then she scolded herself. If she couldn't even go to his apartment building, how would she be able to handle seeing him at graduation? So she allowed the cab ride to continue, pulling her through traffic towards her destination. By the time the cab was pulling over, she was emotionally exhausted and had to gather up the energy to pay the driver and slide out of the cab.

She stood on the busy New York street, staring up the North side of the building. People rushed by, jostling her as they went to their various destinations, but Charlotte could only stare. A few feet. That's how far she'd have to travel to the entrance, then she would be on the elevator, traveling up to his apartment which she knew there was no turning back from. It would be so easy to go back to how things were; she knew she wanted nothing more...

No. She couldn't. He probably hated her. After she left, he called her once. One time, no more. He left her a voice mail that almost had her on a return flight back to him, but she couldn't do it. After that, he never contacted her again. She received a few correspondences from Conner; those were easy though. He simply wanted to know if she was safe and being well cared for, wherever she was. She honestly believed that he was only concerned for her well-being, and wouldn't pry, so she answered his email in detail, telling him about the aunt she was staying with in Charleston who was very well off, and who would have her spoiled before graduation. After that, he emailed her back with a sigh of relief and a wish of good luck. Charlotte never responded, and Conner never sent another one. After that, there was nothing from her old life. Just the occasional call or email from Casey, who was now back home.

Standing in front of his building now made everything more real, and much more difficult. She had been weighing the pros and cons of contacting Josh, when she was bumped roughly by a passing pedestrian, who didn't even stop to apologize. The sudden push brought Charlotte back down to the sidewalk, and with a heavy sigh, she started on her way to the nearest hotel.

In reality, there was one kiddy-corner to Josh's building, but she wasn't going to do that to herself. It would be hard enough to sleep while in the same city as him, not knowing what he was doing with whom, let alone trying to sleep directly across the street from him. Instead, she chose a nice hotel a block and a half down in Greenwich, called _Larchmont Hotel._ It was affordable, for a hotel in the city, but it was also close to campus and included a continental breakfast, which was a huge plus. She didn't need much room, so she paid for two nights in a single room, then lugged her huge suitcase (stuffed full from shopping with Aunt Lottie) up to her room, and collapsed on the bed.

She quickly called her aunt and Casey, telling them where she was at and that she was safe. Then she leaned against the pillow, sighing deeply. She was exhausted. Between leaving her aunt and cousin, the flight back, the emotional roller coaster in the taxi, and then lugging her bag a block and a half to the hotel, she desperately needed some sleep. All she wanted was a hot shower, but the room didn't have one, so she just washed up a bit in the sink and pulled on her pajamas. It was still early, barely five o'clock, but she decided to turn in for the night. Casey would be here tomorrow, and she knew that would be a fiasco. Shutting off her little lamp, she fell onto the pillow, nearly asleep before her head hit it.

"No."

Josh was sitting at his dining room table with Conner, discussing plans to get Charlotte back over a drink. It was late, nearly two in the morning, and Conner had been throwing ridiculous ideas at Josh all night.

"Just one phone call. Or even a text! It would make things way easier for both of you."

"Absolutely not. She clearly doesn't want to talk to me, otherwise she would have contacted me at some point during the last three months. And how would it make this any easier?"

"It just would. How do you think you're going to handle seeing her at graduation? It's in less than a week, Josh, and the tension you feel now is just going to get worse between now and then."

Josh looked away and sipped his whiskey. He knew Conner had a point, but he didn't want to listen to him. Contacting Charlotte was all that had occupied his mind since she left, but he also knew that doing so could completely ruin his chances with getting her back.

"I don't know. But I will, ok? I've handled being without her this long, I'll make it through a couple hours."

His brother sighed in frustration and poured himself another drink. For a while, the only noise between them was the sound of traffic on the street below, which never ceased to exist in the city. Even this high up it was constantly audible. Josh finished his drink and set it down quietly on the table. Pushing his chair back, he stood from the table, deciding to go to bed. Since Conner's trip to New York had occupied him much longer than he anticipated, Josh had allowed him to abandon his hotel room in favor of Josh's guest room instead.

"Listen, I'm going to head to bed. Just leave your glass there when you're done, we can get them in the morning."

The end of his sentence was interrupted by Conner's phone, ringing loudly as it cut through the silence of the apartment. Josh hovered by his chair, curious who would be calling his brother at two in the morning. Conner glanced at the caller ID, frowned and placed the phone to his ear.

"Hello?"

Josh couldn't discern any words from the other end, but he was able to grasp that the caller was speaking frantically. He watched his brother's eyes shift around nervously as he listened, then he nodded curtly and stood from the table.

"Alright, I'll leave as soon as I can. Thank you."

He hung up the phone and stood from the table, placing his hands on the back of his chair, as if gripping it for support.

"What is it?" Josh asked.

"It's Dad. He's had a severe stroke and he's in the hospital." Josh swallowed past the lump that had formed in his throat as Conner looked him in the eye. "They don't know how long he has."

Josh felt himself become light headed as his heart raced. His dad and him rarely got along after their mother passed away, and they hadn't spoken in years. Now he was dying. Really dying and Josh might not get the chance to speak to him again.

"Are you going?" He asked Conner in a dead voice.

Conner nodded. "Josh, you need to come with me."

He felt his hands reach for the chair behind him and lower himself down into it, though he didn't recall actually thinking about moving. He wanted to go with Conner, but he knew it was impossible.

"I can't, Conner. You said yourself that graduation is in less than a week, my office is flooded with final papers to grade and preparations to make. I can't leave right now, it wouldn't be fair to my students. I can come Sunday. Immediately after commencement I'll jump on the first plane home."

Conner gripped the chair tighter and Josh swore he could here the wood compressing under his brother's grip.

"He may not have that long, Josh."

"I know, but...I can't. Not now." He looked at Conner, who was leaning into the chair like the weight of the world was on his shoulders. "Just...don't worry. I'll be there as soon as I can. Besides, Dad's a fighter. He always was a stubborn bastard. He won't die without getting the chance to remind me that I'm a disappointment one more time."

Conner smiled wanly and sighed.

"Fine. But right after graduation."

Josh nodded in silent agreement as Conner rushed past him into the guest room to pack his small bag. Josh continued to sit at the table, lost in thought as the sounds of rushed packing reached his ears from across the apartment. Suddenly, Conner was at his side again.

"Do you need a lift to the airport?" he asked quietly.

"No, I have a cab waiting." Josh looked up at him but stayed where he was. His brother could handle himself perfectly fine. Conner began walking hastily toward the door, yelling at Josh over his shoulder as he went.

"One week, Josh. That's all you get. If you're not there by Sunday then I'm sending someone for you, and they won't take no for an answer."

Josh nodded again, even though his brother couldn't see him. "Have a safe flight," He called after him. But the only answer was the sound of the door snapping shut, and once again, Josh was alone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Genesis**

Charlotte always noticed that the first place she lost weight was around her collarbone. Over the past several months, she noticed the thin bone protruding more and more, sticking out beneath her shirts and collars. Now, she stood in front of the dressing room mirror of a Macy's, contemplating the blue dress that fit her form beautifully. It clinged to her curves, and the strapless cut showed off her shoulders and that collarbone. But she didn't mind. It made her neck appear slimmer and longer.

"Charlotte, c'mon! I want to see!"

Casey was waiting impatiently outside. It had been nearly a week since Charlotte returned to New York, and graduation was tomorrow. Casey had dragged her to the store in order to find her a dress to wear under her gown, and although Charlotte would have been happy wearing jeans and a t-shirt, Casey insisted that she dress better.

"Besides," she muttered to Charlotte earlier that day. "You want to look good for Josh, don't you?"

As if Charlotte needed the reminder. The closer to graduation she got, the more nervous she became. She didn't know what to do when she approached the stage, Josh standing there with the rest of the faculty in his professor's robes. She imagined that he would look extremely dashing, and the thought of it had occupied her mind for days.

Sighing, she stepped out of the dressing room to where Casey waited with her Aunt Lottie and cousin, Oliver. They had flown in the day before yesterday and were staying at an upscale hotel downtown. Her aunt had insisted that Charlotte and Casey stay with them at the hotel in their massive suite, so she caved, again powerless to decline her aunt's hospitality. She stepped out of the dressing room and Casey rushed forward to complete her evaluation, her long, blonde hair swishing behind her.

"I love it, but I think a different color. Blue just seems so..." she drifted off in thought, trying to think of the right word.

"Mundane," her Aunt completed for her. Casey smiled and glanced at her.

"Yes, mundane. Thanks, Lottie."

Aunt Lottie and Casey practically became best friends the moment they met. They had the same senses in fashion and ideals, and they got along great. Charlotte stole a glance at her cousin, who she assumed was bored out of his mind. Olly was more like her, reserved and not concerned with things like name brands and designers. He caught her looking and rolled his eyes, causing the corner of Charlotte's mouth to quirk up.

"Let's do red."

Charlotte had been so busy making faces at her cousin that she had completely ignored Casey's critiques of the dress. But the word 'red' got her attention.

"Red? Uh, no. I'll look like a stop sign."

"The only stopping you'll cause is when people stop to stare at how hot you are. Here," Casey was pushing a similar strapless dress into her arms, but this one was cherry red. "Go put it on."

Realizing there was no escape, Charlotte rolled her eyes and went back into her dressing room. Sliding out of the blue dress, she hung it carefully on the hanger and then proceeded to pull on the red one. She shimmied into it and looked into the mirror. It fell to about mid-thigh and was gathered along the left side of her waist, creating wrinkles in the fabric that ran up over her breasts and down over her hips. It was extremely flattering to her curves, and Charlotte had no problem imagining her and Casey celebrating at a club somewhere while she flaunted this dress. Biting her lip, she stepped out for the final vote.

"Oh fuck."

Casey's eyes were bulging out of her head and even her cousin's jaw was nearly on the floor. The only person that didn't seem completely threatened was her aunt, who was nodding in approval.

"Very nice, Charlotte. Now we just need to get you some matching stilettos and you'll be set."

Casey seemed to finally come out of shock and was shaking her head violently.

"Uh-uh. No way. Take it off."

Although Charlotte was thrilled, she was slightly taken aback by her best friend's reaction. Even though the dress was a tad risque, she actually kind of liked it

"What? Don't you like it?" Charlotte asked in shock.

This was the first time that Casey hadn't agreed with her Aunt, and Charlotte was wondering what was wrong to suddenly change her mind. Casey opened her mouth to answer, but Oliver beat her to it.

"Charlie, the dress it beautiful on you. You're a total knockout. But...I don't think it's exactly graduation appropriate. I mean, this luncheon thing after...aren't most of the faculty going to be attending?"

 _That's the point,_ she thought sarcastically.

"What was that?" Casey asked. Charlotte turned almost the color of her dress as she realized she must have spoken out loud. Thankfully, it appeared that only Casey had heard her, and she was quickly moving on anyway.

"Anyway, your cousin is right. Maybe it's a little _too_ much. Do you think that maybe we should go with the blue?"

Her aunt had gone back to discussing colors and styles in extreme detail and Oliver was rubbing his temples from what appeared to be a headache, but Charlotte was blocking them all out. Thoughts were spinning through her mind as she thought back to the last time she had nothing to wear. _That_ dress had been sophisticated, yet sexy and it had fit her like a glove. Plus, she could bet that Josh would notice immediately. Was that what she wanted? She wasn't sure yet, but at least she would be saving herself the hassle of buying a new dress. If she still had that one; she wasn't sure if it was still where she left it. But if it was...all she needed was some new jewelry to add a new touch, and she would be set. Making her decision, she interrupted Casey's debate with her aunt and made her announcement.

"Never mind, I'm not getting one. I had forgotten that I already have the perfect dress."

Oliver looked relieved and her aunt looked resigned, but Casey looked confused.

"You do? I didn't see anything when I looked through your bag."

Charlotte just nodded.

"I do. And I know exactly where it's at."

Josh paced in his office, his door closed shut and his hands occasionally reaching up to scrub his face. In less than 24 hours, he would be seeing Charlotte again. His mind's eye again pulled a picture of her face to mind. It had been so long since he had seen her, _really_ seen her, that he began to wonder if she even looked as he remembered. Long, brown hair; bangs brushing into her eyes; chocolaty-brown eyes with a spark of green in them, framed by thick, long lashes; the galaxy of light freckles that spread across her nose; full, pink lips that she gnawed at when frustrated and that pulled into a bright smile when she was happy. God, he wanted to see her happy again.

He was an emotional wreck. The last time they had spoken, he had snapped at her for putting herself in danger. He hadn't meant to hurt her by creating distance, but he had. Pushing her away was meant to save her academic career. Instead, she interpreted it as him no longer caring and threw herself to the dogs. Then she told him she was leaving.

 _"Don't. Don't even say it. Just...just go."_

Groaning in frustration, he placed his hands on his desk and leaned into it. That was the last thing he said to her. She had tried to tell him that she loved him, and he just dismissed her, told her to leave, the very opposite of what he wanted. And she had listened! God, how did he not know that she would listen? He treated her like something he could control, but Charlotte could never be controlled. She was shy and quiet and generous and trusting, but she was also strong-willed, stubborn and sacrificing. He should have known that she would do what she could to save him, regardless of what anyone else said. And then he placed the blame on her. She would never take him back. Why would she? She deserved far better, and she had obviously started to move on while she was South.

The image of the tall man with ginger hair flowed into his mind and he clenched his teeth. He wanted desperately to know who he was, but he currently had no resources. Conner was home with their dying father, plus he had no information on the guy that would allow him to know more. He briefly wondered if he would be with Charlotte at graduation. Seeing Charlotte was going to be hard enough, but seeing some guy congratulate her and kiss her was going to end him.

The shrill ring-tone of his cell pierced through his thoughts, bringing him out of his jealously long enough to answer it.

"Yeah?"

"Josh-it's me."

It was Conner, probably calling with an update about their father. Josh sighed and walked around his desk, plopping himself into his chair.

"Conner, hi. What's the latest news? Did they get the test results back?

Josh could hear his brother's ragged breathing on the other end of the phone and could sense his hesitation to answer Josh.

"Conner? What's wrong?"

"It's...Josh, I don't know how-I don't know _what_ to say."

A sense of dread was pooling in Josh's stomach, but he pushed his brother to answer anyway.

"Just tell me, Conner."

"It's Dad," Conner's voice cracked a little on the other line. "He's...he didn't make it, Josh. He's dead."

The little key ring jingled in Charlotte's hand as she played with it nervously. She really hoped that he hadn't changed the locks, even though Casey had insisted that he wouldn't do that to her. She had offered to accompany her to the condo, but Charlotte turned her down, telling her that it was something she wanted to do alone. The last thing she needed was to break down in front of her best friend the night before her graduation.

Aunt Lottie had disappeared for the night; she mentioned something about dinner with an old friend of her's. Charlotte didn't know her aunt had friends in the city, but then again, her aunt had been an esteemed socialite when her husband was alive. Who knows whom she had met over the years. That left Oliver and Casey in the suite alone. The two of them got on ok enough, but Olly seemed to clam up around Casey. Her friend was convinced that he didn't like her, but Casey didn't let it bother her. She reassured Charlotte that they would order just pizza and watch movies or something.

What ifs and memories pushed around Charlotte's mind as the cab drew closer and closer to her old home. Determination to handle this like an adult and to not panic flooded into her veins as she watched the scenery grow more familiar. Finally, they arrived. The neighborhood looked much the same; it was nicely manicured and fairly quiet for being this close to campus. The condo was no different either, except for the porch light being on. Charlotte stared at that light, as if it had no business being on the porch.

"Miss? That'll be ten bucks."

The cabbie's rough, New Jersey accent startled her and she pulled a twenty out of her pocket. She gave it to him and told him to keep the change as she shakily opened her door and slid out, still transfixed by that porch light.

"Hey. You want me to wait?" he asked.

Charlotte closed her door and waved him off. He shrugged and pulled away from the curb, leaving her in the dark. She couldn't figure out that light. It definitely wasn't on when she left for the South and the only person that had a key had been Josh. With a panic, she suddenly thought of him inside. What if he had moved in after she left? It would only make sense, otherwise he would be paying on an empty condo. Even worse, she thought with dread, what if he rented it out and there were strangers in there? That would really, really suck. Deciding there was only one way to find out, she tentatively climbed the steps to the porch and quietly knocked on the door.

While she waited, she weighed the options between Josh opening the door or a total stranger. At least Josh was familiar. But she didn't think she was ready to see him just yet. A stranger might understand that her ten pm visit was purely a misunderstanding, but then she wouldn't be able to get what she came for. Either way, the outcome didn't seem good. She waited a few more minutes, knocking harder and even ringing the door bell, but no one came. Finally resolving that the place was either vacant or occupied by a very old, very hard of hearing geriatric, she took her little key from her pocket and slid it into the lock. With a sigh of relief, she realized that he hadn't changed the locks and pushed the door open.

The smell of stale air hit her roughly. She closed the door quietly behind her and stepped into the condo that had been her home for a short time. Everything was the same, but different all at once. Her couch and television were draped with white dust cloths, but her breakfast table wasn't. Instead, it was covered with a thick layer of dust, and Charlotte realized that nobody had been here for a long time. She wiped a clean line through the dust on the railing as she walked slowly upstairs. She felt like a ghost, drifting through the halls of somewhere she had once lived.

Little puffs of dust fluttered from the carpet as she climbed the stairs, then she turned down the hall and reached her old bedroom door. Her hand hovered over the handle, then she gripped it and pushed it open. Everything in the room seemed the same. Her bedding was folded neatly at the foot of the bed just as she had left it. The closet was open and emptied, except for a medium sized box at the back. Charlotte picked it up from the floor and wiped the dust off the top, then took it to her bed where she carefully opened it.

Inside was the dress Josh had bought her for their first date. Well, if you could call it that. It had seemed more like a business meeting at the time. She never thought that they would make it as far as they did, and she never expected him to love her as much as he did. _Things certainly have changed,_ she thought, as she pulled out the black dress. The lingerie was still tucked inside it, but she decided to leave those there. It wasn't like anyone would be seeing them.

"Wake _up!_ "

Charlotte groaned into her pillow as Casey assaulted her with her's. She knew that sunlight was creeping into the bedroom; it had been threatening to wake her up for an hour. But Casey beat the sun to it and decided it was her responsibility to get her best friend up. Casey whacked her again with the pillow, and Charlotte finally sat up, frowning.

"Thanks for the wake up call. Can you stop hitting me now?"

Casey threw the pillow down and slid off the bed that they had been sharing. She had already showered and done her hair and was pulling clothes out of the closet to wear.

"You're going to be late for commencement! It's already half past eight and you need to be there when? At ten? You're hardly going to have time for breakfast, let alone to get ready."

A shock went through Charlotte as she registered what time it was. She leaped out of bed and quickly gathered up a towel for a quick shower.

"8:30?!" she exclaimed as she dashed towards the bathroom. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" The bathroom door slammed shut behind her as Casey yelled after her.

"I tried! You sleep like the dead!"

Charlotte showered as fast as possible, then quickly started on her hair. There wouldn't be time to do anything with it, so she settled for blow drying it into soft waves. She dashed on some light makeup then flew out to the bedroom where her dress was laying out for her. Casey was already dressed, sitting patiently at the desk.

"You should have set an alarm or something," she muttered as Charlotte slid the dress over her head.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that next time," she replied sarcastically. "Can you zip me?"

Charlotte turned as her friend reached for the zipper, sliding it up and hooking the dress with ease. Frowning, Charlotte stood in front of the mirror, turning this way and that as she examined her reflection.

"It's big," she stated, as she pulled at the extra fabric around her waist.

Casey stood behind her, looking her up and down, then nodded in agreement.

"Don't worry," she said. "I've got just the trick."

She turned away and opened up the closet, rustling around its contents as Charlotte considered just how much weight she had lost since the last time she wore the dress. Finally, Casey emerged with a black belt, which she cinched around Charlotte's waist.

"There, now we can see your curves," she said with a smile. "Do you have jewelry and shoes?"

Charlotte nodded and pointed toward the door, where the black pumps that Josh had bought to match the dress stood. While Casey got them, Charlotte pulled on a string of pearls that fell to just above her chest and matching earrings. Casey appeared at her side, critically examining the pumps in her hands.

"These shoes are great, Charlie. Where did you get them?"

Casey handed her the shoes and she slipped them on.

"You know...just off a sales rack," she lied. "C'mon. It's nearly 9:30 and traffic is going to be awful."

Charlotte had been right; traffic was awful.

Parking at Yankee stadium was a nightmare to say the least, and once they found a spot, they began the short hike towards the stadium, Charlotte in her purple graduation robe. There were hundreds of people swarming around them, and just as many purple caps and gowns mixed into the crowd. Charlotte kissed her aunt and cousin goodbye and hugged Casey, then dissapeared into the crowd to follow the rest of her peers.

She had never really made friends at NYU, other than Owen, so she was of course seated between two girls she didn't know who kept leaning across her to talk to one another. Everyone was speaking excitedly except Charlotte, who kept her eyes trained on the stage. It was hard to see details from where she was sitting, but she thought she saw a young professor with dark hair, sitting in the front row...

"Oops! Sorry!"

Charlotte had been bumped roughly from behind as one of the blonde girls behind her leaned over her row to hand something to the guy in front of Charlotte. She smiled apologetically which Charlotte ignored, and went back to blocking out the noise around her. More students had sat in the row in front of her, blocking her view of the stage. Her heart was hammering in her chest, and she considered backing out and just having them mail her diploma. But this was something she had worked very hard for, she shouldn't give it up just because the thought of seeing Josh made her nervous.

Somewhere behind her, a speaker crackled and a hush settled over the massive crowd. Then, the ceremony finally started. They listened patiently for 30 minutes through numerous speeches: first the dean, then the heads of class, then the hired speaker...Charlotte was getting impatient. The guy in front of her was at least a head taller, and she couldn't quite see the stage. She frowned as the first row of students stood up and they began to call names.

"Catherine Marie Aaron," the dean read off the first name proudly, and Catherine pranced across the stage to cheers from the crowd to receive her diploma. The A's seemed to take forever, but the B's were a smaller group. Charlotte thought about how long it would take to reach her row. She was seated in the fifth row, and each row held about fifty students.

"Alexander Bartholomew Jamesson the third," boomed the dean. Charlotte briefly wondered how Alexander, who was posing like a douche with his diploma, made it through life with such a mouthful for a name. She hardly registered that her row was now standing up and making its way toward the stage. The line was creeping steadily towards the steps that led onto the stage, and even though she was closer now, she still couldn't see Josh anywhere among the seated faculty.

"James Harrison Kimble!" James appeared to be the only 'K' in the whole graduating class, since the dean had moved right onto "Susannah Rose Lane!" and began making his way through the 'L's. Charlotte was breathing hard now. She hated not being able to find Josh. She didn't want to walk across that stage without knowing where he was. But next thing she knew, the 'L's were up and the dean was calling her name.

"Charlotte Elizabeth Matthews!" He announced, and Charlotte plastered on a false smile as she walked across the stage. She shifted her eyes as she walked, scanning the faculty. But he wasn't there. She paused for a second, but the dean interrupted her confusion as he shook her hand roughly and handed her the diploma.

"Congratulations, Miss Matthews," he muttered, giving her a tight, false smile and then ushering her on her way as he announced the next name. Charlotte drifted towards the stairs in a daze and walked back to her seat, where she flopped down in a state of shock. Not here. He wasn't here. How could he miss graduation? Was it because he didn't want to see her? Maybe he didn't. After all, why would he? Last time she saw him she had broken up with him and trampled all over his heart.

Sighing, she sat back into her seat and applauded politely while the rest of the class claimed their diplomas. The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur; she was hardly mentally present for half of it. Even when they all stood to throw their caps, Charlotte just sat there, staring in front of her, thoughtfully chewing her lip. Then, it was over. The new graduates were walking out of the stadium, Charlotte caught in the crowd and pushed along it, to the parking lot where their friends and family awaited them.

Once she was free of the flow of bodies, Charlotte paused and scanned the numerous faces, looking for her aunt. Finally, she spotted Oliver standing alone. Well, kind of alone. He had three girls in the purple robes of NYU standing near him, trying to catch his eye and engage him in conversation. Charlotte saw him smile politely and occasionally reply, but he kept his eyes on the crowd, searching for Charlotte. His eyes finally found her's and she saw him make an excuse to the girls as he headed toward her, leaving them looking like they just missed out on a great opportunity.

"Hey. You alright? You don't look well."

He tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, looking at her pale face in concern.

"Oh, I'm alright, Olly. It's just hot and...you know."

She fanned herself dramatically as if to emphasize her point, but it was barely 70 in the sun. It was really quite nice out. Oliver obviously wasn't buying it though. His blue eyes saw right through her, and he said so.

"Come on, Charlie. I know you better than that. What's wrong?"

Charlotte made a face at him. She hated when he could read her like that; as if she were a book that he had leafed through many times.

"It's dumb, really...I was just hoping that someone was going to be here, but he wasn't."

She realized her mistake as soon as she said it. Oliver's face grew quizzical and he was eyeing his cousin suspiciously.

"He?"

There it was. The one question she didn't want to get into or answer. Charlotte floundered for a suitable answer for a few moments before she was saved by the subtle arrival of Casey and her aunt.

Suddenly Charlotte was bombarded with excited congratulations and hugs and the bullet of explaining things to her cousin was avoided for now. Although there was a brunch following the ceremony for the graduates, Charlotte no longer felt like going, now that she knew a certain professor was absent. But Casey insisted, and they decided to attend even if for only an hour.

It was just as boring as Charlotte expected it to be. Various graduates mingled with their parents and friends, happily discussing their plans for the future. She knew that Aunt Lottie was speaking similar things at her, but she blocked them out as she daydreamed as to where Josh could be. Maybe he was on vacation. That seemed like the type of thing he would do after the last semester ended. She imagined him tanning on a beach somewhere, a stylish pair of wayfarers perched on his nose, a bombshell blonde on his side...

Charlotte nearly gagged at the sudden, unbidden thought. Honestly, she didn't really care where he was, as long as he wasn't hanging off some other girl. It had been nearly an hour, and Charlotte was ready to head back to their suite and relax. This whole event had made her exhausted, and she was in much need of a nap. She was turning to Casey to tell her this, when she overheard a group of girls speaking behind her. Eavesdropping wasn't really her thing, but she made an exception once she heard the topic of their conversation. She turned slightly toward them to hear better, just as one finished her sentence.

"...Hutcherson wasn't there. I wonder why? He said last class that he would see us there."

"Me too! I want to know what's up with him. He's acted strange all semester, and now this?"

"I was really looking forward to seeing him dressed up for graduation, too," one of them whined.

"Oh whatever, Jane. You've been pining after him all year and he's not even into girls like you," said another.

"Like what, exactly, Kate? You're hardly his type either!" Jane exclaimed.

"I meant _students_ , dummy," Kate said.

"I don't know," said the third. Something in her voice made Charlotte turn to see three pretty girls standing together by the drinks table, their heads huddled together as they gossiped. "Didn't you hear about what happened over mid-winter break? I heard he was banging a student and the school found out, and that's why he wasn't allowed any one-on-one sessions this semester."

The other girls gasped and began gossiping excitedly in hushed tones, but Charlotte had heard enough. Obviously her affair with the professor hadn't stayed as confidential as she would have liked. Nausea pumped through her stomach as she quickly found Casey and told her she wanted to go back to the hotel. Seeing the look on her friend's face was enough to convince Casey, and she quickly told Oliver that she was taking Charlotte back to rest. Oliver agreed and promised to follow as soon as he could fish Aunt Lottie from the crowd: apparently, his socialite mother had run into many people she knew from when she was younger and had started to visit with them as if this were her party all along. In other words, Oliver admitted that it may be a while.

Casey hailed a cab fairly quickly; the cabbies had been hanging around campus waiting for someone to need them, and soon they were back at the hotel. Casey didn't question Charlotte the whole time. Instead, she gave Charlotte some much needed peace and quiet. Being her best friend and knowing all about Josh, Casey had a feeling that Charlotte's sudden illness began with a 'J', but she would wait until later to bring it up. Right now, her best friend needed some rest.

The clock read seven thirty when Charlotte cracked her eyes open, and it took several minutes before she remembered her eventful morning. Then it all sank in, and she immediately wished to go back to sleep. But the rumbling in her stomach eventually pulled her from bed, and she slowly slipped into the kitchenette to hunt for food.

The suite was quiet; Charlotte suspected that everyone had gone to dinner without her, but was surprised to find Casey sitting alone at the small table, sipping something from a mug. She paused in the doorway, then walked in and settled into a chair, grabbing an orange out of the fruit bowl. Instead of peeling it, she began tossing it back between her hands as she thoughtfully chewed her lip.

"Stop it," Casey demanded.

Charlotte looked up at her friend as her lip popped out from between her teeth.

"Sorry," she said. "I do it when I'm-"

"Nervous. Or upset. Or thinking. I know, I've been your best friend for years. Now are you going to tell me what has you upset?"

Charlotte plopped her orange onto the table, rolling it around and catching it while she thought. Before she could answer though, Casey spoke again.

"Never mind. I know what's on your mind, Charlie. You don't need to tell me; I get it. But you aren't going to let it occupy your mind all night. You just graduated, you should be happy and proud and all kinds of other joyful shit. Instead you've been moping around since I got here. Not tonight, though. Tonight, we're going out."

Charlotte hardly had the energy or will to argue with her friend, let alone go out. She knew she was right though, and she had to distract herself anyway.

"What about my aunt? What about Oliver? Where are they?"

Casey sipped the rest of her drink; coffee, as it turned out, and set the mug down quietly.

"They're out. We decided while you were asleep. I'm going to take you down to the best night club in town, we'll get trashed, and your cousin will meet us there at 9. You're aunt decided that night clubs aren't her thing, so she's sitting this one out. But she did say she'll celebrate with us later."

Charlotte's heart pounded as she remembered taking shots with Josh in that bar what seemed like ages ago. She had become much better at drinking since then, but she didn't know if she wanted to go back to that bar.

"What's the name of the place?"

The smile that spread across Casey's face could only be described as pure mischief. Casey knew that she had her, and that she wouldn't put up a fight.

"It just opened last week and it's not far from here. It's called _The Dirty Martini_ , and everyone is talking about it. So go get ready, we're leaving in an hour."

Abandoning her orange and her quest for food, Charlotte sighed and walked back to the room she was sharing with Casey. She thought about putting her black dress back on, but she decided to opt for one of the slinky club dresses that her aunt had bought her. It was silver and covered with sequins, though it had a mild 1920s flare to it, with long ropes of crystals that hung from it in layers. The front plunged into a deep v, and the back was completely open except for a small strap that connected each side, which allowed her to wear a bra with it. She quickly styled her hair and slipped on a gold pair of shimmery heals, then she was ready.

Casey was waiting for her, wearing a green, skin tight sheath dress that made her look like sex on legs and barely covered her, but she looked awesome. As they slipped out of the hotel room and down to the elevator, Charlotte noticed that they were catching the eyes of numerous men, both young and old, and she had a feeling they wouldn't have to buy a single drink that night.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Reunion**

Casey's sultry behavior got them past the long line of patrons and into the club right away, where they were instantly assaulted by the thrumming of bass and the heat of close-knit dancing bodies. They pushed their way through the crowd to the bar, where they managed to order drinks after only a few minutes of waiting.

 _The Dirty Martini_ was packed tight to the brim. Everywhere she looked Charlotte saw people flirting, grinding or probably fucking in some corners. She was overwhelmed by the explosion of stimulation to her senses, and was grateful when Casey led her away to an open table in the corner, where she slid into it with a sigh of relief and began sipping her rum and Coke.

The table top was sticky and the upholestry already worn, but it was the only open table, and Charlotte was grateful it was a private one. They teased eachother, pointing out cute guys that they wanted to set eachother up with, which Charlotte only played half-heartedly. She still had Josh hiding away in the back of her mind. They weren't seated long when Charlotte spotted Oliver entering the club and looking through the gyrating crowd of dancers for them. Charlotte half stood in her seat and waved at him wildly, getting his attention and allowing him to start pushing his way towards them.

"God, this place is packed," he said in a breath as he slid in next to Charlotte. "Whatcha drinking there, Charlie?"

Without waiting for an answer, he swiped her drink and took a a large gulp, draining her glass. She punched him in the arm as he set her drink down and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Casey watched them silently and sipped her own drink, her eyes slipping over Oliver in his grey-blue button down shirt that made his hair appear more vibrant than usual.

"Olly! Thanks, asshole. Now my drink is gone," she complained, glancing down at her empty glass. She glanced at Casey for support, but Casey was swirling her drink with a straw as she stared at her cousin, suddenly very quiet. She was clearly not paying attention to the situation at hand. Pouting, she looked back at her cousin who waved away her concern and handed her some money.

"Fine, I guess I owe you another."

She snatched the cash out of his hand and started to push him out of the booth. Casey tore her eyes away from Olly just in time to see Charlotte standing up to wiggle out of the booth.

"Hey, where ya going?"

Charlotte jerked her thumb at Oliver, who was sliding back into the seat, closer to Casey this time.

"This one decided to drink my whole rum and coke. So I'm going to get another. You want anything?"

"No thanks," she said. "I've got plenty for now. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "You stay here, I'll only be a minute."

With one last glance at Oliver and Casey, Charlotte began making her way to the bar. Getting there was the easy part. Unfortunately, the crowd around the bar had doubled, laden with men and women all vying for the bartenders' attention. It took a few minutes, but she managed to squeeze her way up to the bar, and tried without success to order her drink. The club's music pulsed around her, layered with the yelling and cheering of the dancers. She was just about to get the attention of a cute bartender, when someone shoved her roughly to the side and into someone else.

"Hey!" She shouted. But whoever had pushed her was gone, absorbed back into the crowd. She turned instead to the guy she had been pushed into, who had managed to grab her by the arms and keep her from falling.

"Thanks-" she began, then froze, instant recognition pouring through her mind.

It was Josh.

He seemed...different. For one, he had dark shadows under his eyes that definitely hadn't been there before. His hair was a bit longer, and he had a spattering of facial hair along his jaw and upper lip, as if he hadn't shaved in a few days. He also seemed drunk. Drunker than usual, at least. But not drunk enough to not realize who he had in his arms. His eyes suddenly focused on her, only on her, and they widened at her in surprise, his mouth open a little as if he couldn't believe she was there, right in front of him.

"Charlotte?" His lips formed her name and she couldn't hear him, but she knew that was what he said. She was still in shock, and she must have looked scared, which would explain why Oliver suddenly appeared out of no where and pulled her away from Josh roughly.

"Back off, asshole!" He growled.

Charlotte quickly looked between her cousin's protective, angry face to Josh's, which was still shocked but now laced with hurt. Her brain suddenly kicked into motion, and she finally managed to string words together. She struggled from Oliver's grasp, but was unable to loosten his grip from around her.

"Olly-no, wait, you don't understand-"

But Oliver had his arm tight around her shoulders, and she assumed he couldn't hear her over the music. She managed a quick glance toward their table, where she saw Casey standing up in concern, looking in their direction. The crowd had parted a little around them, leaving a small pocket of space around Oliver and Josh, but mostly they ignored the situation, focused solely on the bar or the dancing. All Charlotte could think about was getting to Josh, and she began pleading with her cousin and pushing against him harder.

"Oliver! Let me go! He's not trying to hurt-oh my god!"

Josh had sprang into action, punching Oliver square in the jaw, causing him to release Charlotte and stagger back. The space in the crowd suddenly widened and now everyone was watching them, ready for some new entertainment. Casey had ran over from the table, and was quickly trying to evaluate the situation.

"Charlotte! What the hell is happening?" She turned and saw Josh, who was now being approached by a very pissed off Oliver, and realization dawned on her face. " _Oh_. Well, that's a problem isn't it?"

Oliver was extremely pissed off now. There was a red mark blooming on his jaw, but he didn't seem to be bothered by it. It definitely didn't stop him from approaching Josh and getting right in his face.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" He yelled. Being six feet tall, he towered over Josh, but Josh didn't let that intimidate him. He boldly stared up at Oliver, ready for a fight.

"I think the question is, who the fuck are _you?_ " He growled. "She obviously didn't want _you_ touching her."

Charlotte could see from her standpoint that Josh's eyes were smoldering with deadly anger, anger she had only witnessed once. But Oliver was just as angry, and she panicked, realizing that they could kill each other. She was about to rush forward and get between them, when a very large, very intimidating man in a black shirt beat her to it.

"Alright guys, that's enough. Time to go," the bouncer said, and placed a heavy hand on both of their arms, leading them out of the club. Charlotte and Casey glanced at each other and followed them out, their night of celebration cut shorter than they expected. They had only been at the club for an hour, and already they were being kicked out.

Josh and Oliver were standing on the curb, staring each other down angrily when Charlotte found them. Josh immediately trained his eyes on her and she saw them soften a little , but the hurt in his eyes remained. It had been so long since they had seen each other, and Charlotte had not expected their reunion to be like this. Casey gave Josh a little wave. "Hey Josh," she said with a smile, then went to stand by Oliver. He looked at her impassively, then back to Charlotte in confusion as she approached Josh shyly.

"How long?" He asked bitterly.

She stopped, just a few feet from him, and looked at him questioningly.

"How long what?" She asked.

He jerked his chin toward Oliver, who was having his now swelling jawline inspected by Casey.

"How long have you been seeing someone else?"

A bolt of shock went through Charlotte like lightening, and she quickly looked at Oliver, then back at Josh, who's eyes were heavy with jealousy and hurt. She frantically shook her head and took another step toward him.

"Josh, oh my god, no. Oliver-he's my...Olly's-"

"Her cousin," Oliver finished for her. He was holding a hand to his jaw as he walked toward them. "I'm her cousin."

Josh's mouth popped open in surprise as he looked to Charlotte to confirm this. She nodded slowly, relief spreading through her veins. He suddenly looked very reassured and exhausted all at once, and he collapsed down on the curb behind him.

"I thought-" he choked out, then ran his hand through his hair roughly. Charlotte glanced at Casey, who understood immediately what she needed and pulled Oliver away from them, muttering something about finding ice for his jaw. Once they were out of ear shot, Charlotte sat on the curb next to him, smoothing her dress carefully underneath her. For a moment, they sat in silence, Charlotte searching for the right words to say. Before she could speak, though, Josh beat her to it.

"This isn't how I imagined us meeting again," he said softly.

The stress and hurt were obvious in his voice, and Charlotte couldn't resist stealing a glance at him. She was right; the corners of his eyes were crinkled with guilt, his mouth turned down in a frown as he stared at his feet. She immediately felt sorry for him, and went over all the things she could say to make him feel better. None of them sounded right.

"Me either," she said pathetically, the other words disappearing from her brain. "It is good to see you again, though."

Josh lifted his head and turned toward her. His expression had changed to one of relief, but Charlotte also saw disbelief there, which ached more than anything. It was like meeting for the first time all over again, there was so much tension between them. She quickly reassured him before he could speak.

"No, really. You don't understand. I've been missing you every day since I left. _Every day,_ Josh. I nearly called you so many times...even at graduation. I was looking forward to seeing you; _finally_ seeing you again, but then you weren't there. Why weren't you there, Josh?"

"You really missed my that much?" He whispered, completely dodging her question. She nodded again, mentally noting to return to that topic later. He squeezed his eyes shut, bowing his head again. His reactions were getting harder and harder to read, and she began to wonder if maybe he really _didn't_ want to see her again. She hesitated before deciding it was better to find out now rather than later.

"Josh," she choked out, "if your feelings have changed, then I...I understand. I can leave. I know I broke your heart, so I get that you probably don't want to see me, and that's ok. I'll just...go and let you move on."

He said nothing and Charlotte felt her heart break. She bit her lip to keep from crying as she slowly stood up from the curb, brushing off her dress. Thunder rumbled overhead, and she thought how fitting it would be that it would pour on the day they finally reunited. But before she could begin walking away to find a cab, Josh's hand shot out and closed around her wrist.

"Wait," he said. He stood up, his hand still on her wrist and his body close to her's. With her heels on, they were about the same height, and she could stare directly into his eyes without having to look up at him. She could feel the electricity between them and she had never so badly wanted to kiss someone as she did in that moment. His free hand reached up and brushed the loose hair behind her ear, like he used to do, and very softly he smiled. "Charlotte. Of course I want to see you. I'm just adjusting to the shock of finally having you back. That's all. Don't leave me again."

Warmth spread through her body in the form of desire and excitement and relief, and she acted on impulse. Reaching up, she gripped his hair and pulled him to her, settling her lips against his. She had imagined their first kiss being rough and needy, but she was wrong. It was soft and sensuous, awakening parts of her that had been sleeping for the past three months. His lips were as soft as she remembered; they transferred all the heat between them into that gentle kiss, and she immediately knew she had done the right thing. Slowly, they broke apart as the first few raindrops began to fall from the sky, pattering gently onto their heads.

She had never seen Josh smile so much, and it was infectious. Suddenly, they were embracing and kissing as the skies fully opened above them, rain pouring down and soaking their clothes. The irony of the situation was not lost on Charlotte as Josh grabbed her by the hand and pulled her down the street. They ran through the storm, Charlotte running as best she could in heels, splashing through puddles as the thunder crashed above them, followed by bright flashes of lightening. Charlotte shrieked as a bolt of lightening cracked particularly close to them, just as she followed Josh into a nearby parking garage. They paused just inside the door to catch their breath, laughing in between gasps for air.

"Oliver-" she gasped, "and Casey, are going, to kill me."

Josh smiled at her as he breathed heavily, his hands resting on his knees as he bent over. Charlotte caught her's fairly quickly, and had pulled her phone out of her clutch to quickly shoot a text over to Casey, saying she would just meet them back at the hotel. Casey responded with a simple winky face, which Charlotte ignored as she shoved it back into her clutch. Josh had recovered by then and was waiting patiently for Charlotte to say something. When she didn't, he gestured to the garage behind him.

"My car is parked in here. I'd love to give you a ride; or if you want, we could go back to my place for a drink..."

He left the open ended question hanging in the air, gauging her reaction. She wanted nothing more than to go back to his apartment and to how things were. But she knew where that would lead, and there were a few things she wanted to ask him about before she went home with him again.

"I think it's a bit too soon for that," she muttered, but he was already stepping closer to her, a hungry look in his eyes. She took a small step back but felt her back press against the cold concrete wall behind her, and Josh closed the gap between them. After being seperated for so long, their close proximity to each other was making her cheeks flush and lips part as her breathing increased.

"Charlotte," he whispered. "I missed you so much."

His hands somehow found their way to her hips, brushing around to the small of her back. His touch was electric through the thin fabric of her wet dress, and she shivered as she tried to keep herself under control. The rain continued to pound outside and the dark sky flashed with lightning. A sudden crack of thunder made her jump, and Josh tightened his grip on her. Then they were kissing again. It started out gently, his lips soft and slow against hers, then built into a crescendo as the rain slammed harder into the pavement. His kisses became rougher, more urgent, and Charlotte had her arms around him in seconds, pulling him closer to her as he pushed her back into the cold wall. Their bodies couldn't get any closer, yet they still pulled at each other as if their lives depended on it. A bright light suddenly lit up the garage and a car splashed past them out of the garage, startling them apart. Once it was gone, they started laughing, pressing their foreheads together.

"Now that we've thouroughly broken the ice," he said through a smile, "How about that drink?"

She returned his smile and caved, letting him lead her through the garage to his car. It wasn't far; just at the back of the first level, and Charlotte was relieved to crawl into the passengar seat, feeling its familiarity. She was nearly overwhelmed with memories, but she pushed them back, vowing to live only in the moment and to not let her wayward thoughts ruin it.

This is what she wanted; she had realized that when she ached with disappointment during graduation at his absence. In fact, she still had to ask him about why he didn't go. He was obviously in New York and not away like she had thought. But again, she pushed the thought aside for later, refusing to let the thoughts spoil her mood. The questions could wait. Josh opened his door and joined her in the car, his wet clothes squeeking against the leather. He paused for a moment, then shook his head and laughed as he started the car.

"This car is totally going to need a detailing after this," he grinned, as he backed out of the space, twisting behind him to better see behind him. She had rarely seen him this happy and his emotions were contagious. Her own smile widened as they exited the garage, the rain crashing loudly into the windshield. It was so loud, in fact, that Charlotte nearly missed the sound of her phone ringing from her small purse. She caught it just in time and answered it before it could be sent to voicemail.

"Casey?" She spoke into the phone with her other hand over her ear, blocking out the surrounding noise of the storm.

"Charlie thank _God,_ " Casey gushed into her ear. Charlotte wasn't sure what it was, but there was something in her friend's tone that threw her off, something she had never heard from her before. "I need you to come back to the hotel like, right now."

Charlotte frowned as the car came to a slow stop at a red light. She could sense Josh glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, but she didn't look at him directly. She wanted to know what had caused Casey to sound so urgent, so... _exasperated._ That's what it was. Exasperation. She had never heard Casey sound like that; usually she was so calm and collected. Immediately, Charlotte was concerned.

"What's wrong? What is it? Is everyone ok?" She asked urgently.

Casey responded with a sigh, and Charlotte imagined her blowing her bangs out of her face.

"No one's hurt or anything, just...I'll tell you when you get here. But get here soon, ok?"

"Yeah," Charlotte replied, curiousity spreading through her veins. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

Ending the call, Charlotte looked at Josh regretfully, her high from their kiss in the garage starting to ebb.

"Change of plans," she said. "I have to go back to the hotel. Something's up with Casey."

Josh pressed his lips together and nodded; he was obviously trying to hide his dissapointment at the situation, but Charlotte could see right throught that. But she kept her observations to herself.

"Where am I taking you?" He asked her quietly. Charlotte detected what sounded like bitterness in his voice, but she ignored it. She pursed her lips, ready for the look of incredulousness she knew she was about to receive from Josh.

"The Four Seasons."

Being as late as it was, traffic was flowing easily through the city which allowed them to arrive at the hotel much quicker than if they had been driving there mid-afternoon. But the late hour didn't mean much in New York. There was still plenty of activity in front of _The Four Seasons_ when Josh pulled up to the curb. He put the car in park, but didn't turn it off. Charlotte knew she had to go and find out what had Casey all antsy.

"What act of God persuaded you to get a room here?" Josh asked.

Charlotte had hoped that she would be able to get away without a comment from him about the hotel, but of course that was too much to hope for. She didn't have the time, nor the patience, to explain her aunt to Josh, especially now. But she saw no other way around it, and instead opted for a light off-handed comment.

"My aunt's divine intervention," she said flatly. Before he could say something else, she changed the topic. "I have to go," she said, looking away from Josh and not knowing how to say goodbye so soon after they had reunited. She could see the determination in his eyes that refused to let her leave him, again, but she also saw painful understanding there, that he had to let her leave. He sighed, resting his hand on the gear shift as if he planned to take off at any moment, whisking her away.

"I know," he said. "Just promise me that you'll at least call tomorrow?"

She looked up at him. His face was etched with hoplessness and she felt her heart ache. He didn't think she would actually call him, and she hated herself for making him this way. She realized now that when she left, she broke more than his heart. She broke his spirit, and the man before her was no longer the man that she left. He needed reassurance and care. She smiled softly in response and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips.

"Of course," she replied. He smiled back at her, looking a little more hopeful as she opened her car door. "Thanks for the ride. I'll see you tomorrow."

He gave her a little wave as she closed the door carefully, then treked up to the hotel entrance. The heels that she had shoved her feet into earlier were killing her feet and the thought of limping through the hotel lobby made her cringe. Giving up on appearences, she slipped them off and gratefully stepped onto the cool tile of the lobby, then padded across it silently with her heels in hand. There were a few hotel residents mingling around, but not one of them spared her a glance as she waited patiently for her elevator. It arrived with a light 'ding' and the doors opened, allowing her to step into it. Then the slow ascent to the suite rooms began.

The slow jazz drifted from the speakers as she was pulled upward, but it failed to calm her in any way. The longer the elevator took, the more anxious she began. What could have Casey so flustered? And what would be so important that she needed Charlotte there with her? By the time the elevator came to a smooth stop, she was practically dashing to the door to slide her key in and find out what the hell was going on.

The first thing she noticed after opening the door was the silence. The room was quiet with no one around that Charlotte could see. She drifted into the small kitchen, placing her key quietly on the counter and turning her head around for signs of life.

"Casey?" Nothing. She tried again. "Olly?"

Still no response. Maybe they were asleep, though she doubted it. Both Casey and her cousin tended to be night owls. She made her way to the room she was sharing with Casey, hoping to find her there. The door to their room was cracked, but it was quiet inside. She pushed it open, expecting the room to be empty.

It wasn't. Casey was sitting quitely on the bed, staring blankly at the opposite wall. Her eyes flicked up to Charlotte as she stepped in and gently closed the door behind her.

"Oh. Hey Charlotte."

Her eyes slid over her and back to the wall, and Charlotte was speechless. She'd never seen her friend like this, and she felt her concern grow.

"Case, hi." She moved slowly toward the edge of the bed as if approaching a caged animal, intending to sit. "What's going on? Did something happen?"

Casey's eyes dashed back over to Charlotte and her lips pursed together nervously as she nodded.

"Yeah, something like that." Her eyes glazed over again for a moment, and Charlotte wondered if she was drunk. The possibility wasn't completely unlikely. "How's Josh?"

The topic switch nearly gave Charlotte whiplash. She had managed to push Josh out of her mind since he dropped her off, but now it was filled with thoughts of him. It was making her dizzy and she collapsed onto the edge of the bed.

"I...what? He's fine. Casey what happened? Don't change the topic on me-"

"It was Oliver." She interrupted. "We...I kissed him."

 _Uh...what?_

Oliver hadn't dated anyone, let alone shown interest in anyone in years. Not since his last breakup. Aunt Lottie even questioned whether he was gay or not a few times, but he always denied it. Charlotte new better. He was just...damaged. She cleared her throat.

"I see. You don't seem very happy about it."

Casey's mouth slanted into a frown as her face contorted into confusion.

"I just don't get it. He's practically a model, I've been checking him out since I met him. Then after we left the club, I noticed him looking at me the whole way back in the cab, like he was checking me out. So I assumed...when we got back to the room, I decided to make a move, and he just froze up, like I had slapped him. Than he just... _walked away._ "

She said the last bit like it was a completely inconceivable notion, as if a man walking away from her advances was totally impossible. And perhaps from Casey's point of view, it was. She had all the equipment and was frequently hit on, asked out, and chased. But knowing Oliver like Charlotte did, it wasn't completely surprising and she couldn't stop a light giggle from bubbling up out of her throat. This earned her a gaping glare from Casey.

"Charlotte! This isn't funny! I think I completely ruined all hope of ever dating him. Is there something wrong with me?"

This stopped all the laughter in Charlotte's throat. Casey? Wanting to _date_ her cousin? Her Olly? Never mind him being her cousin, Casey didn't date _anyone,_ not since high school. She was more of a wham-bam kinda gal. Why the sudden change?

"Wait, since when do you want to date anyone?"

Casey wiggled uncomfortably under Charlotte's stare, another uncharacteristic trait she seemed to have developed suddenly. Typically, Charlotte was the one squirming under Casey's interrogation.

"Well, I didn't want to date him at first, just...you know, the usual. But then at the club tonight, he was really sweet, and completely just...coy, and-"

" _Coy?_ Are you saying that my cousin spurring your advances turned you on enough to make you want to actually date him?"

"Well, _yeah_ , kind of. I don't know, Charlie, he just seems so different from any other guy, and I found myself thinking about him the whole way back from the club, which you know has never happened before, and then we came back here and we were alone and I just must've misread the signs because I kissed him and he got all tense and just-"

 _Christ,_ Charlotte thought, _she's rambling._ "Left. He left, didn't he?" Charlotte finished for her.

" _Yeah._ I didn't mean to scare him off. Charlie," She was whining now. "You know him better than anyone. How do I fix this?"

Charlotte sighed and pursed her lips in thought. Olly could be...difficult when it came to relationships. Aunt Lottie had given up pressuring him to find a nice girl years ago, so the task that Charlotte had ahead of her was not an easy one, yet...

"You can't." Casey's face instantly fell in dissapointment. "But I can try. I'll talk to him, just keep your distance for now. He's sensitive when it comes to girls."

Casey's face was now lighting up with hope and she nodded excitedly.

"Of course. Thanks Charlotte. I really appreciate it." She sat up a little more, slowly getting closer to her usual peppy self. "Oh, I almost forgot. Your aunt called earlier, she's not gonna make it back tonight, so she said that one of us can take her room tonight, since we've been sharing a bed for nearly a week."

"You can take it if you want," Charlotte conceded. "I like to stick to the same room if possible."

Her friend didn't exactly try to argue. In fact, she immediately grabbed her night-clothes and shower supplies (which Charlotte couldn't help but notice was already packed neatly into a tote) and left the room for the master suite down the hall leaving Charlotte on the bed, alone with her thoughts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Axis**

Josh was having a peculiar night. Everything that had transpired so far was entirely unexpected, but not necessarily unpleasant. His mind rolled over the memories: his fist connecting with Oliver's jaw, running through the downpour with Charlotte, their lips connecting in the parking garage...

He was distracted, to say the least, which would explain why he found himself in front of his apartment door, not quite remembering the journey there. The lock clicked with the turn of his key and he pushed the door open, the cool air of the entryway embracing him like an old friend. He wasn't in the door five seconds before he saw it. Dirt, small flecks of it, on the floor of the entryway. It hadn't been there before; besides, he always kept the apartment impeccably clean. Stepping around it carefully, he followed the small trail into the living room.

Everything was as he left it here, so he turned to inspect the kitchen. Again, everything appeared normal, except the half-empty glass of water that stood beside the sink. He leaned on the counter, his eyes level with it as he eyed it suspiciously. Lip marks where there, just on the rim of the glass, with a light pink tint to them. Someone had obviously been here, and they hadn't cleaned up after themselves. Which was very rude, he thought.

As he straightened up away from the counter, the calendar that hung on the wall caught his eye. It was nearly Monday now, the day after graduation. The day he told his brother that he would be home by.

" _One week, Josh. That's all you get. If you're not there by Sunday then I'm sending someone for you, and they won't take no for an answer."_

The week was over and the hunt was beginning. Josh knew exactly who his brother would be sending to get him, and she was the last person he wanted to deal with right now. She had obviously already been here already and who knew when she would be back to check again.

Frowning at the calendar, he turned his back on it and walked out of the kitchen, heading straight past the dirt in the hallway and back out the door, not bothering to lock it this time. She would get in again whether he locked it or not. While waiting for the elevator in the hall, he glanced at his iphone. 1:15 in the morning. Praying that Charlotte was still awake and still partial to their reunion, he pressed her number as he stepped through the open doors of the elevator. The descent began, and Charlotte answered on the third ring.

"Hello?"

Just the sound of her voice was enough to calm him, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Charlotte, hey. Sorry to bother you."

"You're not. Bothering me, that is. Everything ok?"

 _Fuck._ She always had a way of seeing right through him, and he couldn't exactly tell her what was happening. Not yet, at least. That would lead to a lot of questions, half of which he really didn't want to answer. But he had to tell her something. Better to stick with part of the truth at least.

"Yeah, I just..." He paused as he leaned his head back against the elevator wall. "I can't stop thinking about you. Can I see you?"

He heard her breath hitch a little through the reciever followed by a quick exhale, and he imagined her blowing little threads of hair out of her eyes as she debated internally, though he knew she would say yes.

"I suppose," she said slowly. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. A little too quickly. She paused, and he could sense her hesitation.

"Alright. I'm in room 1002. Just text me when you get here and I'll let you in. See you then."

The elevator opened to the garage level as the call disconnected, and Josh sought out his car quickly, eager to get back into Charlotte's arms, where he could escape reality a little longer.

Charlotte's eyes followed the ceiling fan in dizzy circles as it spun slowly above her. Casey had long disappeared into her aunt's suite for the night, presumably to relax in the jacuzzi tub that was there and then pass out in the king sized bed, and had left Charlotte laying on her bed with only the fan to keep her company. Then, Josh had called.

Something in his voice tugged at her. She knew they needed some time to process everything before jumping back into bed together, but she couldn't say no to him. Especially now that she had had time to think and collect a mental list of questions for him. Like what he was doing at the bar on the night of graduation, or why he didn't make it to graduation to begin with. The picture from the school's website floated to the surface of her mind again. Josh, his arm around the waist of a petite blonde. _Professor Hutcherson and student._ That was another question she needed to ask him. Not necessarily about the girl from the picture, but whether he had seen anyone else while they were seperated. Granted, he had every right to if he had. She broke up with him, he had no reason to believe they were ever getting back together. Still, that didn't stop the feeling of jealousy uncurling venomously in her gut.

Sighing, she rolled over onto her belly and patiently waited for her phone to chirp, announcing the arrival of Josh. Her dress tangled uncomfortably under her, though, and she decided she may as well change out of it and into something more appropriate. She wiggled off the bed and dug into her suitcase, finding a pair of comfortable yet sleek pajamas that wouldn't be embarrassing. As she was hanging up her dress, a familiar chirp sounded from her phone, and she dove for it, knowing what she was to find.

Of course it was Josh. He was parking now, so it wouldn't be long before he was at the door. Charlotte slid her feet into some slippers and grabbed her key, then carefully tip toed across the suite to wait in the hall. She had no idea where Oliver was or when he'd be back, but the last thing she wanted was for Olly to meet Josh again so soon, or for Casey to know that her and Josh were doing late night meetups in her hotel room. Her anxiety about the whole thing didn't even _begin_ to cover what her aunt would do if she knew, but thankfully, she was out for the night doing whatever a mid-50's socialite does when on vacation.

It was cooler in the hallway, and Charlotte immediately regretted not wearing a bra. The AC must have been on full blast out here, and her thin pajama top did nothing to keep her warm or hide her peaking nipples. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned against the door, mentally willing Josh to pick up the pace. As if on cue, the elevator at the end of the hall dinged. She straightened as the doors opened and out stepped...Olly.

 _Great,_ she thought. _How the heck am I supposed to explain this?_

Oliver must've been thinking the same thing, because his face scrunched in confusion when he saw her. He strode quickly down the hall and came to a stop in front of Charlotte. She could smell beer on him.

"Charlie? What are you doing in the hall? You didn't lock yourself out, did you?"

She had been planning on feeding him some other cock and bull story, but the notion that she left her key behind did seem more convenient.

"Uh, actually, I-"

At that moment, the elevator dinged again. This time, it was Josh. He stepped out of the elevator, but stopped dead when he saw Charlotte and the back of Oliver's head. Her panicked expression must've been enough of a cue for him, though, because he jumped back into the elevator as Oliver turned to see what she was staring at. Realizing that no one was there, he turned back to Charlotte, who had composed her face into an impassive expression. Before he could ask again, she stuttered an excuse at her cousin.

"I was waiting for you, actually. I needed to talk to you about something, but you look tired, so I'll just ask you about it tomorrow."

Oliver frowned as he swiped his key into the reader.

"What was so important that you had to wait in the hall?" The door unlocked and he pushed it open, holding it from closing. "You coming in?"

"I'm going to run down to the sauna, actually," she lied. "I could use a warm up."

Oliver looked at her strangely, but shrugged and bid her goodnight, letting the door close behind him. Charlotte quickly glanced at the elevator doors and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw they were still open. She could just make out the tips of Josh's fingers wrapped around the corner, holding the door open. Taking a deep breath, she tip-toed down the hall and slipped into the elevator, nearly running into Josh. He quickly grabbed her shoulders to prevent her from knocking into him as the doors slid closed silently behind her.

"Hi," he breathed, their faces inches apart. "Are we going somewhere?"

Their close proximity was giving Charlotte heart palpatations, and she quickly took a step back to create some breathing room between them. Josh looked slightly disappointed, but said nothing.

"I ran into my cousin while I was waiting for you in the hall," she said. "If you were half a second earlier, you would have met him in the elevator."

"And that would have been...bad?" Josh mused. He had a slight sarcastic tone to his voice, but she ignored it.

"Considering you punched him earlier? Yes," she said pointedly. "Plus, I haven't exactly explained anything to anyone. Casey is the only one who knows about us."

A thick silence stretched between them, and Charlotte could almost hear the questions darting through Josh's mind. But he didn't comment on her announcement. Instead, he cleared his throat and changed the subject as the elevator continued its slow descent.

"So where are we going?" He asked again.

"I told my cousin I was going to the sauna," she muttered.

He was quiet again and she looked at him, expecting to see confusion, anger even. Rather, she saw humor in his eyes as he looked her up and down.

"In your pajamas?"

She scowled as the elevator dinged, announcing their arrival to the lobby. She felt irritation flooding her veins and she lifted her chin in defience.

"If I want," she said stiffly, then shuffled out in her slippers, making her way to the large hotel pool and spa. Josh followed her good-naturedly, keeping his sarcasm and jokes to himself. It was a short walk to the sauna, where Charlotte slid her key in the lock several times, before realizing the area was closed until seven a.m.

"Looks like the pajama party is cancelled," he deadpanned. Charlotte glared at him and rolled her eyes, trying not to laugh, but she couldn't resist and laughed anyway.

"You can laugh," she said as they walked back to the elevator. "but you're missing out. We could have both sat in there wrapped in nothing but towels, alone."

His eyebrows perked up at that, and she knew immediately that he was regretting the pool and sauna being closed.

"I guess I'll have to take a rain check then," he replied, stepping back into the elevator with her. "Since our sauna rendevous is cancelled, what are you planning now?"

She sighed, blowing stray hair out of her eyes as she exhaled, and shrugged as the elevator pulled them back up to the room in silence.

"There aren't many options. We'll have to go back to the room, I guess. But I don't want anyone knowing you're here, so you have to be quiet. I'm lucky that Casey took the suite tonight, so I have my room all to myself."

The elevator released them onto the floor and they walked back down the fridged hallway. Charlotte slid her key into the door and it unlocked with a soft click. She pushed it open and poked her head in to make sure it was clear, then motioned for Josh to follow her. She felt like a teenager again, sneaking a boy into her parent's house well after dark. But instead of her parents, she was now avoiding her cousin and best friend. Oh how things had changed.

"This is much bigger than I expected," Josh whispered as they stole across the small living room. "How rich is your aunt exactly?"

But Charlotte just shushed him, earning an amused grin from Josh. He seemed to be enjoying their small adventure, more so than Charlotte. They finally reached her room and were in it as quickly as possible without making noise. Charlotte closed the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relif; they were safe.

"So, what's going on?" She asked him. He had already slipped off his shoes and was walking around the place, taking it all in. As he glanced behind the curtain at the skyline, he silently cursed. He hadn't been expecting her to jump on him so fast.

"What do you mean?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant. Charlotte immediately knew that he was hiding something. Now that there was no one to interrupt them, she knew that it was a good time to get some answers.

"C'mon Josh. Something is going on. First, you don't show up at graduation, then I find you in a bar, way more drunk than I've ever seen you. What's up with that? And now, you call me in the middle of the night because you miss me? I mean, I love you but I don't buy it."

He froze. Not because she was onto him, because she totally was, but because she said it. I love you. It was the first time he had heard it from her in a long, long time. What felt like forever, and he didn't exactly expect to hear it so soon. He could see from the look on her face that she didn't exactly plan to say it either, but it was too late. She seemed to brush it off as she straightened up, her face determined. They would discuss that later. Right now, she was focused on the questions at hand and Josh knew there was no way out of this.

"Actually, I did miss you. A lot. But you're right. I did call you for other reasons. I needed to get out of my apartment, for one. But we'll talk about that later."

"Josh-" she started, clearly frustrated and expecting him to change the subject.

"Hold on, Charlie, I'm getting there. First, you want to know about graduation."

She pursed her lips and nodded. He never called her Charlie. Josh sat down in the only chair in the room, then gestured for her to sit on the bed. She did, and he leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together. He looked...antsy.

"I wanted to be there, more than anything. You understand, I'm sure. We hadn't seen each other in _months,_ and the oppurtunity to see you again, even if it was just from a distance, was irresistable."

"But you weren't there," Charlotte whispered, trying unsuccessfully to hide her dissapointment.

"No, I wasn't," he agreed. "I couldn't be there." He paused and looked up at her, his hazel eyes rooting her to the spot. "Remember when I told you about my dad?"

"You told me that you two hadn't spoken in years," she said, remembering the one time that Josh had told her something about himself. Which at the time, had been rare. Now, he seemed more willing to talk to her about things.

"Well, he was sick. Really sick. Conner had to leave to go care for him and I had planned to follow immediately after graduation. But the night before graduation, he got worse."

Charlotte noticed his voice catch at the end. She had a feeling about where this was going, but she let him finish.

"Conner called me that night. I guess he couldn't fight off whatever it was that put him in the hospital, because he died that night. And I wasn't there."

Charlotte's hand reached up to cover her mouth as shock flooded her veins. Even though she had a feeling that his Dad wasn't well, she still couldn't stop herself from being shocked at the situation and empathizing with Josh.

"So you were too emotionally drained to go to graduation, and that's how you ended up in the bar?" He nodded. "But Josh, if your father has passed, why are you here? You should be home, with your brother and family. They need you!" She was so confused. If it had been her, she would have been on the next flight home.

"That brings me to the next part," he continued. "Conner told me I had to be there by Sunday afternoon."

Charlotte glanced at the clock. It was now 2:30 on Monday morning.

"Josh, it's 2:30 in the morning."

"I know," he said. His hand pushed through his hair, making it stick up at odd angles. "I can't bring myself to go."

"Why?!" Charlotte errupted, then clasped her hand over her mouth. She didn't want to wake anyone. "Why?" She asked again, quieter this time. "Josh, this is your father's funeral! It's your last chance to say goodbye to him, and besides, your brother needs you! You can't just leave him to deal with all this alone."

His face was becoming strained with stress and his breath was quickening. "I know! But Charlotte..." he ran his hand through his hair again. "You don't know my family. This trip would be a literal nightmare for me. I haven't spoken to any of these people, except Conner, for _years,_ ever since my father and I had that fight. They practically all disowned me when he did."

She sat silently as he caught his breath and calmed down. She wanted to understand, but to her, family was everything. Realizing that she wasn't going to convince him of anything tonight, she sighed and stood from the bed.

"Alright. This is obviously stressing you out. Let's go shower and rest for a bit, then you need to go back home for the night. I don't want my aunt discovering us tomorrow. I'm not quite ready to explain our relationship to her."

Charlotte saw his mouth stretch into a thin line at that, but he agreed anyway and let her lead him into the bathroom where she started the large shower. They undressed and got under the hot water together. She missed his body, and felt her's stir at the sight of him naked before her, but she didn't want to jump into sex again this quickly, and he didn't press her. They simply washed and held each other under the warm stream of water. By the time they reluctantly left the hot shower, the bathroom was full and thick with steam, just like a sauna.

Charlotte was aware of two things when she woke up: One, it was hot. _Too_ hot. And that the source of the heat was wrapped tightly around her like a thick blanket. Two, that it was morning. Late morning, by the looks of it. She slowly started to untangle herself from Josh's body when the reality of the situation hit her. It was _morning._ As quickly and quietly as she could, she slipped from the bed and raced to her door. The clock read ten after nine, and she hoped that everyone was still asleep after the late night, but there was only one way to find out. She creaked the door open an inch and immediately cursed.

Voices reached her from the main room, peppered with the sounds of dishes and accompanied by the smell of breakfast. It seemed that Oliver and Casey were speaking, albeit a bit stiffly, but that's not what had Charlotte worried. No, it was the lofty voice of her aunt that drifted back to her bedroom that caused another curse to slip passed Charlotte's lips as she snapped the door shut.

"Shit." She tiptoed back to Josh and started nudging him awake. "Shit shit shit _shit._ Josh! Josh, you have to wake up."

He mumbled something incoherent and rolled over, stretching out across the bed as Charlotte slowly began to panic. Any second now, Casey or her aunt would come barging in to see why she had slept so late, and they would find someone other than herself in bed. She began to shake his shoulder harder and smacking him lightly.

" _Joshua,"_ She never used his full name, so hopefully this would get his attention. "C'mon! You have to get up!"

It wasn't working and she was about to resort to sitting on him when his eyes fluttered open. He saw her, standing over him in her pajamas and bedraggled hair, and a sleepy smile spread across his face.

"Morning," he said. She resisted the urge to smile back. "That was the best sleep I've had in months. What's wrong?"

"It's _morning,_ " she hissed. "and everyone, including my aunt is out in the main room preparing breakfast."

He sat up, stretching and yawning as he threw his legs over the bed. His lack of concern was making Charlotte more anxious. He obviously didn't fully grasp the problem at hand.

"Are you listening?" She asked urgently. He glanced at her and stood up, then walked over to where his clothes were draped over the chair.

"Of course I am," he said. He stepped into his jeans and buttoned them, then began to pull on his shirt. "But it's too late now. We may as well face it: I have to meet the family."

Once his shirt was on, he disappeared into the bathroom, presumably to brush his teeth, but his calm deamenor had Charlotte panicking. She stood in shock for a few moments, then began cursing again as she searched the room for an outfit to throw on. This was the last thing she was ready for. Casey already knew everything there was to know, but her cousin still had a mark from where Josh had punched him and her aunt was going to lose her mind at the idea of Charlotte finally dating someone, let alone her professor.

Charlotte was fully dressed by the time Josh emerged from the bathrom. She had found her favorite comfort jeans and topped them with a sheer lemon colored top which she wore a nude camisole under. Her aunt had bought her the top, and she hoped to distract her with her sudden fashion sense. Her hair was hopeless after falling asleep with it wet, so up it went into a messy bun. Five minutes later, her teeth were brushed and she was almost ready to leave the room with Josh in tow. _Almost_ ready. Although, she knew she would never be truly ready for this, so she was making herself go. Better to do it now and get it over with. Thankfully, Josh seemed to sense her reluctance, so he hung back a little as Charlotte entered the kitchen, walking straight past Casey and grabbing the orange she had the day before.

"There she is," her aunt said from the sofa. "We were beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up. I heard that last night was quite the adventure." Her eyes followed Charlotte as she crossed the room to stand against the wall, a sparkle in her eye. How much did Oliver tell her? Did she already know about Josh? "Oliver and Casey were just telling me about how packed the club was. I hope you enjoyed your night out."

Charlotte breathed an internal sigh of relief as she tried to peel her orange. But her aunt not knowing the night's juicy details did not solve the situation at hand. She was about to speak up about Josh when he just walked over to her from her bedroom in front of everyone, as if it was no surprise at all that he were there.

"Here, Charlotte. Let me get that for you."

He took the orange from her limp hands and peeled it while the room watched in silence. Charlotte looked up at Casey and caught her eye. Her friend looked pleasently surprised as she looked between the two of them, but she was the only one. Charlotte didn't need to look at Oliver or her aunt to see their expressions; she could feel the tension in the air building and knew that it was about to explode, like when the hairs on her neck stood up before a lightning storm.

Josh pressed the freshly peeled orange back into Charlotte's hands and turned to the room, completely confident that he had every right to be there. His eyes settled on Charlotte's aunt and he approached her without a second thought, his hand extended.

"Good morning, you must be Charlotte's aunt. I'm Josh, it's nice to meet you."

Aunt Lottie, whom Charlotte had never seen struck into silence, carefully took his hand and shook it lightly, a curious smile beginning to take its place on her lips. Charlotte could still sense Oliver fuming across the room. She figured she had about fifteen seconds until his irritation caused a meltdown.

"It's a pleasure...Josh, you said? Though I'm sure I speak for everyone in the room when I say that I'm still not sure who you are, exactly."

Oliver chose that moment to break his silence.

"He's the one that gave me _this_ , mom."

He pointed to his jaw, which looked much better to Charlotte, but was still obviously marked. She rolled her eyes at her cousin's statement, he was obviosuly being dramatic because he didn't like Josh. Aunt Lottie looked between the two of them as her eyebrows stretched skyward.

"Well! Is he now? Someone managed to hit you, Oliver? That's a story I'd like to listen to."

And she settled deeper into her arm chair, waiting for someone to fill her in. There was a moment of silence in whch everyone exchanged glances: shock, anger, anticipation, curiousity and patience. Charlotte had rarely seen so many varied emotions in one room and it took a minute for her brain to come out of its shock and actually say something.

"Josh, can I talk to you for a moment? Alone?"

All eyes swung to her as she tried to communicate to Josh with her own eyes that this was not the time for theatrics. They needed to talk, now.

"Sure," he said. He smiled at her aunt once more, then followed Charlotte back to her room, where she hastily shut the door behind them.

"What the _fuck_ ," she hissed at him. "That had to be the worst timing in the history of recorded _time_ , Josh! Seriously, what were you thinking?" Her voice had steadily began to rise, but she reminded herself to keep it down. Everyone was probably trying to eavesdrop.

"I was thinking that you needed help with your orange," he said with a smirk. Then, more seriously: "Besides, it was bound to happen. Them meeting me, I mean. What were you planning on doing? Sneaking me out of the room when no one was looking? We're adults, Charlotte. They'll have to live with it."

"Yes, but I would have liked some time to at least prime the conversation!" She snapped. "Now they're all out there conjuring up explanations as to why I had a man in my room that they've never met who was obviously here all night!" Her breath was coming out heavily and her heart was racing.

"So?" He replied. "Charlotte, what's the big deal? Casey knows us, I'm sure she's not freaking out or anything. Your cousin is probably the only one we have to worry about, honestly. Why are you so mad?"

Why _was_ she so mad? She knew Josh was right, it was bound to happen, and her aunt seemed to care less. In fact, the whole situation was probably made worse simply because Charlotte couldn't just go with it. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and bit it; was it because it was too fast? Probably. She didn't want to jump back into her relationship with Josh. She wanted to take it slow. Taking a deep breath, she sat on the bed. Josh was still standing by the door, probably ready to walk back out at any second.

"I guess you're right. I just wasn't ready to introduce you to all of them yet. But it's too late now, so let's just go back out there and properly introduce you."

She said all this kind of depressingly, as if she now had to clean up a very large mess that she had no responsibility for. Which in a way, from her point of view, she did. Josh smiled at her wanly and walked toward her, planting a kiss on her forehead.

"Alright," he replied. "Let me run to the bathroom first."

He disappeared into the adjoining bathroom, leaving Charlotte on the bed to work out how she was going to explain their relationship to her aunt, when a loud buzzing emitted from the bedside table. It was Josh's phone, and Charlotte grabbed at it, planning to answer it. But it was just a text from an unknown number, which she was able to read before it disappeared from the screen: _There's no point in hiding, Josh. I will find you._


End file.
